Back in January, WE REPORTED on how Robocop is stealing fried chicken and refrigerators in Korea.

I apparently underestimated Asia’s true love and respect for what we here in America commonly refer to the GROSSEST CHEAPEST FOOD IN THE WORLD.

What you’re about to see is an unexplainable Kit-Kat commercial featuring the cutest little girl in the world marching with the British Royal Guard, who apparently love’s them some Chocolate-Covered-Cookies, followed by the most holy, pastoral KFC commercial I have ever seen.

The strangest thing to me is the choral version of ‘My Old Kentucky Home’ playing in the background.   All my KFC experiences have featured crippling poverty, morbid obesity, and at least 2 screaming babies.  What the hell is going on in Japan?  Is their Fried ‘edible’ Chicken Parts…better than what we get here in the West?  Possibly so.

And then, for no reason at all- the flash of KFC currency?  Is the Colonel trying to ursup the world banking industry by starting up his own monetary markets?  Is this the secret to Japan’s economic success?  Have they moved from the Gold standard to the Golden-crispy POULTRY standard?  Is their economy CHICKEN-based?  Is the asian bird-flu our attempt at economic/currency sabatoge?

I really think this commercial raises more questions than it answers.  I would demand the the Colonel be brought before a court marshal, but I’m hard pressed to find out what branch of the military granted him his rank!  I’m going to write my elected official, and I suggest you do the same.  I’m starting with my Mayor-  Mayor McCheese.

-alex fugazi