What’s Granpa Leatherfist’s secret to a fine physique and a shiny coat at his stage in life?  A stage that find most old coot’s settling down by the fireside to await the welcoming cold embrace of the reaper?

Bacon.  And the love of ladies.  Look at that guy…that guy eats a whole pig, pan fried, and then makes strong, bearded love to a baker’s dozen of women.  Then he puts on his leather gauntlets and goes out into the streets to preach his gospel of setting fire to anything that gets in your way.  How does he preach this?  By fucking setting fire to everything.  And sometimes he helps at the local homeless shelter.  “There but for the grace of God go I,” he says to himself, dishing out soup to those poor wretches.

And then he sets them on fire.

Shine on, Granpa Leatherfist…Shine on.

-alex fugazi